An Afternoon Thought
24 Sep 2005
Figaro Coffee Shop
I was reading The Chronicles of a Death Foretold by Gabriel Garcia Marquez in this coffee shop. I was waiting for my other brothers who were watching Ganito Kami Noon, Paano Kayo Ngayon. Then a friend of mine, who works in the mall, came. He said something about his life as winding down. Nothing seems to be of value anymore. Even money lost it's value for him. He is looking for something. He says, parties have lost their meanings. He just gets drunk so as to deaden the void. Then suddenly, something pops up in his mind. 'The more I fill it up, the more it gets empty and empty.'
I replied, 'there will always be a part of us that is going to be void, lacking. The difficulty with us, is that the more we feel void, the more we want to fill it up, but with the wrong things. The wrong solutions. Filling it up with material things, with gadgets, with relationships that are not worthwhile. And the more we try to fill it up, the more we get lost to the hundred possible solutions we could think of. And the more we do that, the more we get frustrated because we will never know what we are looking for, until we settle down ourselves. We learn to slowdown.
Until we learn to listen with our heart. It is in the most deepest seat of our heart, where our solutions will be. Where our longed for piece, that keeps avoiding us, is found. Listen well, listen carefully. Stop from controlling yourself. Stop in making things up so that you will feel important. Stop living a life you designed. Because it is NOT your life. It may sound so radical. That we do not hold our life. But come to think about it. Think deeply. Where will all this end? I don't suppose, we just die for no reason. We flop on the ground, just like that. There is much greater things in life. Even if sometimes, it is in the afterlife.'
I was thinking about it this evening. The ideas may not be original. But how I put them up together comes from an unprocessed mind. I just like to put them down and perhaps reflect more about it. I suppose I have used this line of thought in my own experience, in my life. They ring a truh in me. A sense that this why I am choosing and continually choosing this life. I might, perhaps, found the missing piece of my puzzle, but still is finding the right position to hold it down. Just because I think I have found my puzzle, I will be okay and settled already. I still need to hold, learn it, listen to it. Perhaps 5o percent of the work is done, and a long 50 percent more to go to.