Mute Prophet

Updated Site

2008-03-24T12:52:00.003+08:00

Hi! It has been soooo long since I posted a note here at my blog. Most of the time, I update my multiply site. do come by http://neofiles.multiply.com/ okay? I'll see you there!

St. Thomas Aquinas

2008-02-05T09:28:00.001+08:00

28 January 2008
St. Thomas Aquinas, priest and doctor of the Church

Jesus' numerous exorcisms brought freedom to many who were troubled and oppressed by the works of evil spirits. Jesus himself encountered personal opposition and battle with Satan when he was put to the test in the wilderness just before his public ministry. He overcame the evil one through his obedience to the will of his Father. Some of the Jewish leaders reacted vehemently to Jesus' healings and exorcisms and they opposed him with malicious slander. How could he get the power and authority to release individuals from Satan's power? They assumed that he had to be in league with Satan. They attributed his power to Satan rather than to God. Jesus answers their charge with two arguments. There were many exorcists in Palestine in Jesus' time. So Jesus retorted by saying that they also incriminate their own kin who cast out demons. If they condemn Jesus, they also condemn themselves. In his second argument, he asserts that no kingdom divided against itself cannot survive for long. We have witnessed enough civil wars in our own time to prove the destructive force at work here for the annihilation of whole peoples and their land. If Satan lends his power against his own forces then he is finished. How can a strong person be defeated except by someone who is stronger? Jesus asserted his authority to cast out demons as a clear demonstration of the reign of God. God's power is clearly at work in the exorcisms which Jesus performed and they give evidence that God's kingdom has come.

What is the point of Jesus' grim story about a strong man's house being occupied by an evil force? Our foe and the arch-enemy of God, who is Satan, is stronger than us. Unless we are clothed in God's strength, we cannot withstand Satan with our own strength. What does Satan wish to take from us? Our faith and confidence in God and our submission to his kingly rule. Satan can only have power or dominion over us if we listen to his lies and succumb to his will, which is contrary to the will of God. Jesus makes it clear that there are no neutral parties in this world. We are either for Jesus or against him, for the kingdom of God or against it. There are two kingdoms in opposition to one another— the kingdom of God and the kingdom of darkness under the rule of Satan. If we disobey God's word, we open the door to the power of sin and Satan. If we want to live in freedom from sin and Satan, then our house must be occupied by Jesus where he is enthroned as Lord as Savior. Do you know the peace and security of a life submitted to God and his word?

What is the unforgivable sin which Jesus warns us to avoid? Jesus knows that his disciples will be tested and he assures them that the Holy Spirit will give them what they need in their time of adversity. He warns them, however, that it is possible to spurn the grace of God and to fall into apostasy (giving up the faith) out of cowardice or disbelief. Why is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit reprehensible? Blasphemy consists in uttering against God, inwardly or outwardly, words of hatred, reproach, or defiance. It is contrary to the respect due God and his holy name. Jesus speaks of blaspheming against the Holy Spirit as the unforgivable sin. Jesus spoke about this sin immediately after the scribes and Pharisees had attributed his miracles to the work of the devil instead of to God. A sin can only be unforgivable if repentance is impossible. If someone repeatedly closes his eye to God and shuts his ears to his voice, he comes to a point where he can no longer recognize God when he can be seen, and when he sees evil as good and good as evil (Is. 5:20). To fear such a sin, however, signals that one is not dead to God and is conscious of the need for God's grace and mercy. There are no limits to the mercy of God, but any who refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit. God gives grace and help to all who humbly call upon him. Giving up on God and refusing to turn away from sin and disbelief results from pride and the loss of hope in God. What is the basis of our hope and confidence in God? Jesus' death on the cross won for us our salvation and adoption as the children of God. The love and mercy of Jesus Christ, the forgiveness of sins, and the gift of the Holy Spirit are freely given to those who acknowledge Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Is your hope securely placed in Christ and his victory on the cross?

"Lord Jesus, you are my hope and salvation. Be the ruler of my heart and the master of my home. May there be nothing in my life that is not under your lordship."

Feast of the Archangels

2007-09-29T17:00:00.000+08:00

In honoring the angels we honor God’s power and might. In honoring the angels, we honor our fellow servants. We humans and the angels share the same status before God as servants. However, it is also worthwhile to remember that although we humans are created a little lower than the angels, to use the words of St. Paul, our future will far exceed that of the angels’.

The writer C.S. Lewis told a short parable to help illustrate this. Think of a master of a household who has in his house his young child, his heir, and his adult servant. The servant has been given the task to guard, protect, and train the master’s child. Even though the intelligence and the strength of that servant exceeds that of the child, as that child grows and eventually inherits his Father’s house, his status and his power will eventually become more important than the servant.

We are like that child, and the angels the servant. They have been given the task to guard and protect us until such time as Christ returns and we inherit both heaven and earth. They have been charged to look after us because of our importance in God’s eyes.

The image from today’s Gospel helps to illustrate this. Jesus took the image of angels ascending and descending, as on a ladder, directly from the book of Genesis--from Jacob’s dream of a ladder coming down from heaven and touching the earth--with angels going up and down from it.

Ancient people believed that there are holy and sacred spots here on earth where heaven and earth meet–-spots where heaven and earth intersect. That is a useful image to keep in mind because here before us is such a holy spot-the altar-the spot where heaven and earth intersect: where God sends his Holy Spirit so that mere bread and wine may become Christ’s body and blood. And that holy spot extends into each one of us who partake of Christ’s body and blood, because inasmuch as we bear Christ’s body and blood and the Holy Spirit, we too are sacred and holy.

And so, we may be unable now to see with our bare eyes Who the angels see directly. But the time will come when we will inherit God’s promise to us and we shall join all the angels in heaven as they rejoice in God’s glory, making their hymn of praise our very own: holy, holy, holy Lord, God of power and might, heaven and earth are full of your glory.

It is also worthy to note that St. Ignatius asks us, his sons, to practice chastity like the angels, limpid in body and soul. Singlehearted, clear and unambigous in fidelity. I think this is one thing we can learn from the angels. Their undivided love makes them immune from deception which we mere mortals are very much susceptible. By virtue of our being incarnate, makes us all the more distracted to that which we have fixed our eyes. However, this does not make us hopeless and resigned to that which we are prone to. It should give us more courage that the Lord has given us his angels to emulate.

Finally, we do not have to look up and wait for angels to show themselves. We just have to look around and find our angels here in this community. Realizing as well, that we too are angels to one another: God's soldier, being God’s messenger, bearer of God’s love.

I delivered this homily to my sub-community at Loyola House of Studies.

So, define Philosophy.

2007-08-30T18:17:00.000+08:00

Defining philosophy is to define what it actually is, and, yet it is difficult to do so since by pinpointing a lexical definition of it runs the risk of oversimplifying the term. And this oversimplification can lead to looking at philosophy as an academic exercise removed from its intricate connection with the world. I find it strange then to define it, however I must admit the act of philosophizing is something that produces a certain discipline or outlook which broadens the horizon of the human person and further ones knowledge of one’s self. To philosophize is to embody the questions of those who precede us. It is to ask again what really it is to be a human person given our ever-changing situations. Allow me then to relate an experience which I feel paints more accurately what philosophy is in my daily life.

Last Saturday, I gave a recollection to a group of boys until 12 noon. After which, I listened to a three-hour lecture. I felt so spent that day that I rushed home to retire. However, when I arrived home, I could not sleep. I went out of the house and walked from Barangka to Tañong, and then back to Katipunan then entered the Ateneo campus. Looking back, I did not understand why I did such a thing. There were no great ideas that came over me while walking. What I had in mind was to make sure I stayed on the sidewalk to avoid being hit. I had no mystical experience while looking at an old lady trying desperately to get to the other side while doing a patintero with the jeepneys. I was concentrating on holding my handkerchief to avoid inhaling those horrific black smoke emitted by those jeepneys. At the end of the day, I had a tired feet and an oily face. That day ended with me still baffled why I did such a thing. I never knew what it meant to me until I sat down and tried to think deeply what it actually meant. And this is what philosophy or philosophizing is, to actually get our hands dirty, to allow our daily experience to tell us why we do things and what they tell us about ourselves.

Should one miss to develop one’s sense of wonder in putting things together one’s experience, one gets stuck with what the world is feeding the person. A sense of wonder helps the person to get out of the usual patterns of thought and bring alive those which are thought to be impossible. One does not stop in wondering what the experience means to the person at different moments of one’s life, therefore giving new insights or lessons appropriate for the person at that instance.

I wish to use the analogy of looking at a cut diamond. We look at it at a distance on one side. But we just don’t put it down, we turn it against the light and see the different colors it emits. Such is the way we do with philosophizing, we do not look at it on one side, but we turn and twist it to ‘see’ the different meanings it emits to us. We try to use our sense of wonder to make sense out of it. When wonder is absent from all of life’s beauty, we run the risk of being like walking zombies, unable to celebrate life and continues to wander around aimlessly. A sense of wonder enables us to discover new things about ourselves given the new environments that we are exposed. We will not be always at the receiving end to that which what the world wants to dictates to us, but we begin to develop our own selves.
A question then, follows the example of ‘seeing’ the different kinds of light emitted by a diamond; will we ever exhaust, or see all the kinds of light the diamond emits? Will we ever say, ‘this is enough, I’ve seen enough’?

I don’t think we will. At each slow turn of the diamond in our fingers, different experiences will also turn with it. Thereby an experience associated with a ‘color’ will have a different ‘texture’ as it is seen again. That experience, through the passage of time, will have a different flavor, as it will be seen again. Our sense of wonder fuels us to turn this diamond and like the turning of the diamond, it will never be exhausted as long as let go and let our sense of wonder wander. Finally, simply put it, philosophy is enjoying life!

this paper was submitted to my epistemology class this year.

It's the time of the year

2007-06-14T21:58:00.000+08:00

Yes, it is the time of the year when I try to write something. Either profound or downright corny. It is the start of the classes once more. My first semester did not start until the second day, when 3 out of my 5 Philosophy courses are lumped. Shall we start with understanding how we understand a word with Epistemology with Dr. Angeles or do we want to swim into the minds of the modern Philosophers who believe anything can come from anything of Mr. Mariano or do you want to be ethically correct with Dr. Reyes' Foundations of Moral Value? I had such a long day that I went to bed and slept until 8pm after my last class. I don't know what to expect tomorrow as I pursue Political Philosophy with Mr. Kaelin from 6-9pm (!) on a Friday night! You see, I so want to end this year, however with the comprehensive exam 9 months from now, I do not know as to how my year would end. It is making me nervous and anxious of the future. I can only prepare so much.

On another thought, this is also the time of the year where I join a new community. A new group of brothers who will accompany us through this year. We recently welcomed our new Juniors, the holiest amongst us here. I'd say we will have fun (but again, this is a disposition we all can choose) this year. To Madz, Patrick, Jon, Jovan and Noel, welcome to LHS!

New pictures are posted in my multiply account: neofiles.multiply.com

enjoy!

WHY NOT?

2007-03-23T21:02:00.000+08:00

I was tempted to respond, ‘why not?”, when I saw the guide questions for this long test. It was a reaction that was actually empty of any claim for I do not have the capacity (yet) to back-up this response. But in the end of two years, hopefully I can take that side of the argument and honestly ask, ‘why not?’ with a bit of the answer in mind. But for now, I will have to set that aside.

In this day and age, information is power. Information can come in different forms at different speeds. And the more timely the information is, the more powerful it is. Telecommunications have changed the way we mean by up-to-date or up to the last second. For now these are all possible, literally. We enter into a day filled with different kinds of information. We let them go through us, influence us, move us and we swiftly let the day end, with these thousands of information pass us, unprocessed. And it is in these little pockets of moments where we have a glimpse of our being. And no better way for us to know the being in us, but in philosophizing.

Last Saturday, I gave a recollection to a group of boys until 12 noon. After which, I listened to a three-hour lecture. I felt so spent that day that I rushed home to retire. However, when I arrived home, I could not sleep. I went out of the house and walked from Barangka to Tañong, and then back to Katipunan then entered the ADMU campus. Looking back, I could not understand how I did such a thing. There were no great ideas that came over me while walking. What I had in mind was to make sure I stayed on the sidewalk to avoid being hit. I had no mystical experience while looking at an old lady trying desperately to get to the other side while doing a patintero with the jeepneys. I was concentrating on holding my handkerchief to avoid inhaling those horrific black smoke emitted by those jeepneys. At the end of the day, I had a tired feet and an oily face. That day ended with me still baffled of why I did such a thing. I never knew what it meant to me until I sat down and tried to think deeply what it actually meant.

And this is what Ferriols wanted when he asks us to ‘do’ philosophy and not just define it. To actually get our hands dirty to know whether it is what it is. An insight, if I may add with Ferriols’ thought, presupposes a reflection of an experience. A reflection that is not a ‘navel-gazing’ exercise but a reflection that includes the surroundings of the person. An insight that actually moves the person into action. I suppose an insight that does not attain its full meaning when it is not set into action. It remains an insight. It remains ‘up there.’ What good is it then to be left ‘up there’?

Depending whether something is of importance to a person, one may not be compelled to act on it. I’d say it would now depend on how it is of relevance to the person. If it compels the person to wake up in the morning and plague the person’s mind, if it drives the person to work on things, then that may be of significant importance to the person. If it is giving the person that ‘itch,’ then such a ‘something’ could be a true question.

Once I had to drop everything I was doing since I had to understand a certain part of me that I could not completely grasp. I was getting confused why the ideal self was inversely proportional to my real self. There was confusion; why was there a difference of what I say from what I do. It came to that serious point that I had to drop everything to find a way to ‘unscrew’ such dilemma. This was of utter importance to me, that I could afford to drop everything I was doing. It gave me such un-easeness to the point that it manifested in my bodily dis-ease.

In that context, I would say that the experience gave me a new insight, an insight that I could use to better myself. An insight that gave me a piece of knowledge of who I am and pushed me another step forward to knowing myself. In the many facets of philosophizing, the number of benefits we could draw from it depends on where we are looking at it. There will a certain resolution, but not quite. For our human instincts will tell us to look at it differently, and so hopefully, draw out a different insight. I wish to use the analogy of looking at a cut diamond. We look at it at a distance on one side. But we just don’t put it down, we turn it against the light and see the different colors it emits. Such is the way we do with philosophizing, we do not look at it on one side, but we turn and twist it to ‘see’ the different meanings it emits to us.

A question then, follows the example of ‘seeing’ the different kinds of light emitted by a diamond; will we ever exhaust, or see all the kinds of light the diamond emits? Will we ever say, ‘this is enough, I’ve seen enough’?

I don’t think we will. At each slow turn of the diamond in our fingers, different experiences will also turn with it. Thereby an experience associated with a ‘color’ will have a different ‘texture’ as it is seen again. That experience, through the passage of time, will have a different flavor, as it will be seen again. Just as philosophizing.

We may stop turning the diamond for a moment and simply gaze at the light, just like we may stop philosophizing for a moment and be content with what we have achieved. But there will come a time, when we cannot help, but be compelled to turn the diamond again, to ask again, to philosophize again. And as each turn becomes more unpredictable, we come to the knowledge, that even if we have passed this way before, we cannot say, we know.

For saying we know is assuming that we no longer open ourselves to learning for we have set a formula that we have established. We apply certain principles that we think is applicable to all and think of ourselves as wise. Just as the Athenians were.

It is a great folly to fall into the trap and say, ‘I know.’ For much better it is to say I do not know, even if I have an inkling or knowledge of it, than to say I know and not fully expound what I purportedly know. Socrates pounds this on his fellow countrymen and yet they were stubborn to accept their flaw. And yet how funny it is that such admonition is still relevant today. Information is power and people want to have that piece of information, however incomplete, and declare it, in the hope that it will bring about power to them. The temporary grasp of information blinds them to acquire more of it, even if there is a flaw to such information. Socrates reminds his people, and us, that it is not enough to get hold of knowledge, but to grasp it and understand it. In doing so, we run the risk of not really understanding completely what it is. And we become humbled by the fact that in our own strength, lies our great limitation.

published in Pilosopo Tasyo
A Philosophy Joournal of the
Ateneo Philosophy Club

Jesuit 'Greatness'

2007-02-28T18:09:00.000+08:00

Copied from a reflection of a Jesuit Provincial of the California Province
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some time ago, a young man asked me how it was that so many ordinary men, upon entering the Society of Jesus, went on to do great things. What was it, he wondered, about Jesuit formation that brought "greatness" to the fore in the individual Jesuit? I must confess that I'd never really thought about Jesuit life in those terms. Upon further reflection, however, I thought of the "great desires" that were so important to St. Ignatius. Fr. Ed Kinerk, S.J., in his article, "Eliciting Great Desires," sheds considerable light on these "great desires" and helps answer the young man's question:

"One of the paradoxes of the group of early Jesuits was that Ignatius attracted to his company men like Pierre Favre and Jerónimo Nadal. A Francis Xavier we could expect: he and Ignatius came from the same fiery soil. But Favre and Nadal were timid men, often depressed, and bothered by self-doubt – hardly promising material for the spiritual and apostolic rigors of the Society. Nonetheless, Ignatius saw beyond their fears, and he uncovered in them intense desires to follow Jesus Christ and give service in his name. We know the rest: Nadal is considered our greatest source for understanding the mind of Ignatius, and we honor Favre as a `blessed' of the Church.

"It was the genius of Ignatius ordinarily to win his men to his viewpoints, rather than impose on them or the Society a particular way of responding. He went to great pains to draw the best out of his men by helping them to discover for themselves what they most deeply desired; and he always assumed that the most effective and energetic
Jesuits would be those who could generate their own zeal. In fact, he did not want any other kind around, since the far-flung and ambitious mission of the Society demanded men whose energy and apostolic desires would in turn be sources of animation for others."

Some years ago, one of my Jesuit heroes, the German theologian Karl Rahner (1904-1984), was asked how it is that a modern man can still remain or become a Jesuit. His entire answer is magnificent, but it included the following:

"I still see around me, living in many of my companions, a readiness for disinterested service carried out in silence, a readiness for prayer, for abandonment to the incomprehensibility of God, for the calm acceptance of death in whatever form it may come, for total dedication to the following of Christ crucified."

It's clear that Karl Rahner not only experienced Jesuit life; he reflected on it and found words to express the fruit of his reflections. Perhaps he even read about it and brought his thoughts about it to prayer. But it seems that he helped find his own "great desires" in the lives of the Jesuits with whom he lived and worked.

* In the picture (center): Very Rev. Fr. Peter-Hans Kolvenbach, S.J. Superior General of the Society of Jesus.

Déjà Vu

2007-01-28T22:40:00.000+08:00

It has been so long since i have written a review for a movie. anyway, i saved it for this movie i particularly like. this had so many lines which reminded me of my readings in Metaphysics and Medieval Philosophy. :-)

Déjà Vu
Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer (same guy who gave us CSI), Directed by Tony Scott, Starring Denzel Washington and Val Kilmer

It was beautifully tied up. One will really want to go back and watch the movie again and still will find oneself baffled at how they make two ends meet. There were a lot of times in the movie where the viewer will have to ask himself, why so? That is, if the viewer is careful enough to notice these 'planted' discrepancies. The manipulation of technology made it so believable, that one will really have to think, this technology 'might' already be available in out present time. I also liked the way they tried to explain the 'folding of time.' Although I have heard this explanation from some other movie (or was it my Physics teacher trying to explain A. Einstein), it did not fail my brother in the community to ask me how I understood the explanation. It also was a great topic for discussion. Meanwhile, Denzel Washington was never a disappointment in this movie (or was he ever). Whether playing the bad guy or good guy, he delivers it well. Great pick, Tony! Val Kilmer, got old and fat, did he not? hehehehe. Although, playing the good cop as well, he made sure his presence was felt in the scene. All in all, I would rate this movie as 'must see on the big screen.'

JESUIT VOCATION SEMINAR

2007-01-18T13:49:00.000+08:00

JESUIT VOCATION SEMINAR
for male college students
and young professionals

SUNDAY, JAN 28,2007
1:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. (half day)
(inlcuding Sunday Mass)

Loyola House of Studies
Ateneo de Manila University
Loyola Hgts, QC

=====
and
=====

DETOUR: A DISCERNMENT TALK
Wednesday, 31 January 2007
7:00 pm - 10:00pm (evening activity)

Generali Pilipinas Training Room
G/F Gercon Plaza
7901 Makati Ave, Makati

CONTACT:
VocProm Office 426.6101
Atong,SJ 0927-6492119
vocprom@vasia.com

no reg fee.

www.jesuits.ph
friendster: "Jesuits Jesuits"

www.atenista.net (go to forums, then jesuit ministries)

An Invitation

2006-07-10T19:56:00.000+08:00

The Da Vinci Code

2006-05-28T17:10:00.000+08:00

Now really, who did not, fell asleep at least at some parts of the movie? Especially those of us who has read (and re-read) the book. I know I did, not only once but twice. I am not a movie critic but this what I am about to say are based on how I see the movie.

Tom Hanks: I have seen Tom Hanks in other movies and he was great for the role. He has this look that is almost perfect for the other roles. However, I think he was so un-exciting in this one. I mean, the movie was already slow, and he appeared to be moving with the speed of the movie as well, all the more lulling me to sleep.

Here's another point which I share with one of my brothers: the movie had some very talky scenes. Which I don't remember because I was already very much asleep.

Interestingly, I would rather go back and re-read the book rather than see the movie. All this hype of it being able to shake our faith, has done nothing but turn me into a movie critic. It was that bad I suppose, that I can write it down as one of the forgettable movies. If it were not only for Tom Hanks, my familiarity with the story and other characters, it would end up on my 'not-to-see-again' list.

I thought the movie would incite a discussion among the laity, but it did not. I though it would be a time to re-educate people into our Catholic faith. But it has not turned it that way. I suppose all those discussions on the ANC channel were wasted airtime.

This is all I'm going to say after all this: Don't waste your money on the movie. This is one of those movie you can rent after you had a break-up or just got hacked from your job. Go spend the money on X-Men 3.

First Time

2006-04-15T15:32:00.000+08:00

Last 10 April 2006, I had my first operation (not including the circumcision). I had my apendix removed. It was 2:00AM, I got up to turn off the electric fan. I noticed I had a weird tummy feeling. I thought it was just a gas spasm. I usually have gas spasm when I leave the electric fan on for the rest of the night.

I went down to drink some soda. It helps me in burping. But, nothing happened, the pain was still there. I took a cup of coffee, nothing happened. I went back to my room and poured some ointment on my tummy. I was trying to massage it a little bit, hoping that the gas would go up to my esophagus.

It was 4:00AM and my tummy hurt so much. I went down to the Infirmary, hoping people would give me something to ease the pain. My doctor was called and had a suspicion I wasn't only experiencing gas pain.

While waiting for the first set of medicine to take effect, I vomitted most of the food I ate the night before. It was so painful, especially when there was nothing to vomit anymore.

8:00AM. Robbie was observing me in the office. He was trying to push some parts of my tummy. And it was then I realized that my right side was hurting. They tried to raise my right leg and it was painful. This was the time, that I thought I might have an acute apendicitis.

While this was going on, I was cursing my doctors, Robbie and Atoy, for not giving me any pain killers.

They finally transported me to The Medical City at 9:00AM. They asked for a CBC and a Urinalysis. When UTI was ruled-out and blood results indicated an infection, they immediately admitted me in.

They scheduled me for a 3:00PM surgery. I went into the pre-operating room at 2:30PM. I had my first sedative at 2:45PM and finally my spinal anesthesia at around 2:50PM. They operated on me until 4:30PM. I knew because I was partially aware when they transferred me from the operating table to the stretcher. From then on, I was in the recovery room until 8:00PM. Fr. Jboy and my nurse was there to greet me.

That was how I got my first time. Now, I'm back here in LHS, I'm still in deep pain!

(to be continued)

One Year Ago

2006-04-02T23:48:00.000+08:00

One year ago, my path was green,
My footsteps light, my brow serene;
Alas! And could it have been so
One year ago?

I trodded my past,
With promises to last,
Confident of the past
And could it have been so
One year ago?

I opened this treasure chest,
My very best,
But found nothing but an empty nest.
That was a year ago.

Such was my state of being
On that lovely evening,
One year ago.

Painful and true,
There’s nothing else I can do,
But pick up the pieces and start anew.

Slowly, -- they fill,
This treasure chest.
In packets called
Essays, poems and stories
Otherwise known as
Requirements.

There came a day,
A year ago
When I thought I had none, but
Alas! That was a year ago.

*this was written as my last piece in my English Grammar class. This is also dedicated to the one who helped me a lot in my humbling experience in the Juniorate program, Dr. Marlu Vilches. The title and the first paragraph was written by Walter Savage Landor, 1846.

A Long Loving Look at the Real

2006-02-20T21:58:00.000+08:00

In any relationship, there is always a need for three important things: a yearning, desiring for it, courage, and fidelity. Whether one is in a romantic intimate relationship, or organization, or friendships, one is required of a certain level of yearning for it, being courageous about it and a faithfulness in it, or fidelity. Without these three things, a relationship could be in shambles or just simply platonic; a no-attachment, non-affecting type of relationship. A certain degree of attachment always brings with it an effect on one person. An attachment to an organization may change the person's view aligning one's views to the organization. If you try to notice, if a man and woman has been together for a long time, they start to move alike, talk alike, think alike. One affects the other. Sinasabi nga nila na naging magkamukha na ang mag-asawa. What brought you all here? It is that common bond of the vision and mission of CLC which you all believe in.

So if a relationship does not affect your way of life, there is really little or nothing that you can get from it.

Likewise, if one truly desires for a real relationship with Jesus, there must be a yearning for it, there must be a desire for it, being courageous about it and being faithful about it. And when one is truly yearning for it, desiring for it, courageous about it, and faithful about it, one must also be affected by his deeds, actions and even by the way he thinks.

And how do we get to know a God whom we have never met before? A God whom we only read, get to hear from other people? A God whom we know that is constantly working in our lives, but is not fully known by us? If Jesus was alive in our age and time, or was at least written accurately, we would easily know him. But no, we don’t have that data. So how do we get to know a Jesus? There are many ways, but since I am a Jesuit, I would like to share our spirituality with you.

We already know that a personal relationship with Christ is an important aspect in our life. We also want to respond to his abounding love. But before we could respond, how do we get to know our God? There is a method of prayer that we Jesuits inherit from our founder. The method is called contemplation.

We have heard of the word, but we only understand it as a serious consideration of things in our lives. Contemplation used by Ignatius was a contemplation of the heart of Jesus.

When we talk of contemplation in the Ignatian sense, we talk about imagining Christ. We imagine always, sometimes it becomes our past time; in the middle of boring classes, or when we gaze and look at someone from afar. In a simple sense, contemplation as Ignatius taught is like that. A gazing, a looking at, locked in his gaze. Beholding Jesus who beholds us. Like to two lovers I described above, when we look at someone we love, we become so attracted to that person's being. We become so attached to him or her. We even try to emulate the person.

Why do we contemplate? It is how we get in touch with a God who resides deep in our hearts. It is our way to connect to someone who has been residing in us. And bringing it out, makes us aware of the qualities of Christ in us. It is where God connects to us. Only in the deepest seat of our hearts. This is our way of knowing Christ.

So how do we imagine Christ? Just like imagining a close friend. In the gospel stories I will suggest to you, try to imagine the happenings in the story.

When I say imagine, it does not only mean to see the person or the event, it could be that when one imagines, one can hear things. If a person, cannot hear things, he could feel things. Whatever forms of imagination the person has, it is still imagination, it is still contemplation.

* This talk was given last October 2005 at Sacred Heart Novitiate during the ACLC retreat.

Teach My Heart

2006-01-23T23:56:00.000+08:00

Music and Lyrics: Jandi Arboleda
Arranger: Arnel dC. Aquino, SJ
Performer: RB Hizon, SJ
Album: Something More
Released by: Jesuit Communications (Phil)

O Lord, my God, teach my heart
Where and how to seek You
Teach my heart, where and how to find You
You are my God and my Lord.
And I've never seen You
You've made me and remade me
And bestowed on me
All good things I have
And still I do not know You
I have not done that for which I was made.

O Lord, my God, teach my heart
Where and how to seek You
Teach my heart, where and how to find You
For I cannot see you unless You teach me
Or find You unless you show Yourself to me
Let me seek You in my desire
Let me desire You in my seeking
Let me find You by my loving You now
Let me love You when I find You

Teach me, Lord
Teach my heart, where and how to find You.

This is one of my favorite songs. During the first week of the spiritual exercises, i kept repeating this song in my mind. i want to be taught how to love just as He has loved me and found me. teach me Lord.

A Leaf

2006-01-15T23:32:00.000+08:00

It clings to the twig, and swings
On a cold autumn week,
The last to leave.
When winter winds prick,
It waits…
And waits…
And waits and then—
Flicks!

Tossing and turning
Upon the cold winds calling,
Its journey of ending—beginning.
Gliding and sliding
And tumbling and rolling
Towards the frosty earth’s landing.
Relishing,
Its swinging and swaying,
As if everlasting.
Dancing and prancing,
And swerving and swirling
In a world awaiting,
Its coming.
Giving,
Into the sway of a rhythm.
Frolicking and playing
In the season that seems unending.

Finally.
It rests
The earth unmoving.
The grass uncaring.
The world forgetting.
It rests.

And the world returns to its humdrum beat.
And the world forgets the dance of the leaf.
And so the world forgets…
Just like it does with Christmas.

** Remember the Christmas Literary Contest we were required to join? This was my entry for poetry in English, it won third place.

“I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you.”

2006-01-05T17:25:00.000+08:00

January 5, 2006, Thursday after Epiphany

1 John 3:11-21, John 1:43-51

“I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you.”

Years ago, I watched one of these movies shown during the holy week. These are the long movies of the Ten Commandments, the creation of the world, the New Testament stories, and those movies where you are forced to watch because there is nothing else to watch. I distinctly remember this scene from one of those movies.

A man was dressed in what looked like a rabbi’s white tunic sitting down under a tree. It was set in Palestine where people plant a fig tree in front of their houses for some shade. He was reading a scroll nestled on top of his lap. He was praying. At a certain moment, he looked up to the sky and saw the sun’s ray behind the leaves that were dancing. His face was a face of man enlightened, as if new wisdom was shared to him. He smiled and continued to read and pray.

That was Nathanael under the fig tree.

I saw you under the fig tree.

As I went home last December, I knew I was in for a surprise. Most of my friends told me of the new gimik places in the city. The new adventure Cagya-anons are discovering. As soon as I settled myself in Loyola House in XU, I went around the main plaza we call DVsoria. I found myself surrounded by dazzling lights. There were different kinds of cafés littered around the vicinity. It was past 11 pm and the evening creatures started to come out from their holes. Yuppies my age and more young people were still on the street, to think that it was Monday evening. I could still mange to point out the old buildings, the familiar streets, the convenience stores, but there was a different feeling. Everything seemed familiar, looked familiar, and sounded familiar, but there was a little feeling of being lost, being not anymore part of it.

Many times, we feel relieved when we feel that we are understood. When we feel that, someone really knows us and we do not have to explain ourselves well. However, there are also instances when we do not allow others to know us. We just block off ourselves from others without any significant reasons at all. We just do not want to and that is that. Scary thing is we even could do this with our relationship with our Lord. Blocking ourselves from him.

I remember what Fr. Bill McGary said in his homily during the 30-day retreat. He was talking about how easily we could tear God away from the picture, about how we can ask him to just stay in his Church, stay in the tabernacle. Like, Lord we’ll give you the most expensive silk clothes for your altar, but don’t mess up with our lives. You stay there. How easy it is to just shut-off our Lord from ourselves.

Nathanael (aka Bartholomeow) in that scene under the fig tree teaches us that we not only should be familiar with God, but we let God be familiar to us by letting ourselves be known by Him. By making him a part of our daily lives. By not shutting him off from the daily grind. Nathanael’s face in that movie depicted someone who knows who he was talking to and someone who understood him as well. We can deduce that Jesus did saw Nathanael under the fig tree and saw how he had no guile in him as they conversed.

In the first reading, we hear St. John exhorting to the small Christian communities of how they should love one another. That love should not pass only through words and tongue, but in actions and in truth. And this can only be achieved when we know and is familiar with the one we are following. Nathanael’s bold declaration that Jesus is the Son of Man could come only from a person who feels that he is understood. A person whom he knows and who knows him as well.

The challenge Jesus gave to Philip, follow me, is the same challenge we receive today. To follow the Lord is to know him and to ourselves familiar to him as well. And in doing so we allow ourselves to act on the kind of love he teaches us. However, if we continue to go on with our lives without allowing ourselves to be known by the one person we are following, there might come a time when begin to not know anymore whom we are following.

Finally, I reiterate the challenge that is given to us by the two readings for this morning. That we allow ourselves to be known by Our Lord, that in so doing, we may be able to follow him more and love him more.

Still no pictures...

2005-12-26T22:07:00.000+08:00

I have been in my home city for the last 7 days and I haven't found any scene which I could capture on my camera. For someone who has been looking forward to coming home, this is so frustrating. Probably, this is what is dragging my day. The last couple of days were so gray and dark. I did not have any urge to buy a new film. I felt like it was pointless to load a fresh new roll on a dark and gloomy day. This morning the sun was out, but it looked so dull. As if it was only forced to show itself after a long sleep. I put in a fresh roll this morning, but I only took four shots today. Hopefully, it will be better tomorrow.

On the other hand, I am excited on the just finished roll of film. The one I brought with me from Manila. There are some interesting shots I took there. Without this hobby, I don't know what else I would be doing these days. Oh, well, this is how it is. Waiting to fill-up a roll of film. But, come to think of it, I still am excited about the next days. Uhmm, interesting thought.

Christmas Literary Contest

2005-12-13T16:37:00.001+08:00

To top off the year for a junior in the Society of Jesus, he joins a literary contest organized by the juniors themselves which is open to the members of the Order. He contributes six pieces; poems, short stories and essays, written in both Filipino and English. These then are judged by different Jesuits experts in their respective genres.

The whole first semester is geared towards this goal. But this doesn't seem to be the case.

I have written two poems, two short stories and currently working on my English essay (while blogging). I have three days to finish this. Three days on two essays! It's crunch time here actually! The added pressure is that I have to go home on the 18th of December. And I can't go home if I don't complete my entries. I have made reservations already for my stay and have asked friends to organize get-togethers as I arrive. These should make me feel excited but the whole literary contest is bogging me down. Although, one good thing is happening, my mind is active and ideas are just blowing from all over. The challenge is to jot them down and make sense out of it. So I better be off to work now!

Happy Holidays!

Communications Technologies Hamper Human Communications

2005-12-07T07:58:00.000+08:00

A FUNNY thing happened on the way to the communications revolution: We stopped talking to one another.

I was walking in the mall with a friend recently, and his mobile phone rang, interrupting our conversation. There we were, walking and talking on a beautiful sunny day and -- poof! -- I became invisible; absent from the conversation.

The mall was filled with people talking on their mobile phones. They were passing other people without looking at one another, not even saying hello. Evidently, for some people the untethered electronic voice is preferred over human contact.

The telephone used to connect you to a person who is not physically present. Now, it makes people sitting next to you feel absent. Recently I was in a car with three of my friends. The driver shushed the rest of us because he could not hear the person on the other end of his mobile phone. There we were, four friends, zooming down Recto Avenue, unable to talk to one another because of a gadget designed to make communications easier.

Why is it that the more connected we get, the more disconnected I feel? Every advancement in communications technology is a setback to the intimacy of human relationships. With e-mail and instant messaging over the Internet, we can communicate without seeing each other or actually talking to one another. We prefer to exchange thoughts online even if the person we are trying to communicate with is just beside us.

As almost all conceivable modes of contact between human beings get automated, the alienation index is also going up.

Making a deposit at the bank? Why talk to a teller -- who, by the way, just might happen to live in your neighborhood -- when you can just insert your card into an ATM?

In the US, some supermarket chains are using carts with self-scanners so customers can check themselves out. You don’t have to make eye contact with people, effectively avoiding those check-out people who look at you and ask how you are doing (as if they cared).

I own a mobile phone, an ATM card and an e-mail account. Giving them up isn’t an option -- they’re great for what they are intended for. It’s their unintended consequence that makes me cringe.

The communications industry devoted to helping me keep in touch is making me lonelier -- or at least facilitating my antisocial instincts. So I gave myself some restrictions -- no text messages for people I’m with in the same building or for those who I meet every lunch hour.

What good are all these brilliant technologies, if there’s nobody in the room to hear you exclaim "brilliant!"?

This was published in inq7.net on Jan. 12, 2002

Let It Come From You

2005-12-04T07:25:00.000+08:00

I know the day can be dreary
and too long does last the night
when all you want is a kind word
and someone by your side
to hug you and tell you
not to worry, not to fear
that everything will be alright
and that he will hold you near
but there are no words, no hands
no hugs, no touches of care
the one who can make pain go away
is the one who isn’t there
so now all that frightens you runs free
and worries and doubts weigh you down
you sigh, you cry, you wonder
when will things stop weighing a ton?
I cannot tell you that the time is soon
but I can tell that you it will come
it may not be the kind word you want
but wait, I’m not yet done
there is so much that you have
like lots and lots of friends
a life full of experiences
that built your inner strength
you know best how you can cope
and plan how you’ll make it through
it’s not in you to live on others’ strengths
because you let it come from you
while I can only sympathize and listen
as you tell me your life over the phone
you’re someone who’s been down that road
and managed to find a safe way home.

Paglikom ng mga Ulap

2005-11-26T21:04:00.000+08:00

Bumalik siya sa tuktok ng gusali kung saan siya pumupunta kapag umaakyat sa Baguio. Naroon pa rin ang dalawang mababang upuan na ipinuslit nila galing sa lobby ng hotel. Bakas pa rin sa sa mga upuan ang anino ng tangke na tila hindi ginalaw ng panahon. Umuugong pa rin ang pump na nagpupuno ng tangke ng tubig—isang tunog na nakagawian na. Naroon pa rin ang nangingitim na lampshade, umiitim sa alikabok ng sadyang paglimot. Sira na ito at wala itong naidadagdag na ilaw, ngunit hindi maipaliwanag na nakapagpapaganda sa mood ng lugar. Malamig pa rin ang hangin na nagdadala ng ulap kahit na tanghaling tapat. Hinay-hinay na umaakyat ang ulap na galing sa katimugan, hanggang sa natakpan na nang tuluyan ang tanawin na nakapalibot sa tuktok ng gusali. Ganitong-ganito noong nagkita sila.

Taun-taon umaakyat siya sa Baguio para takasan ang init sa Maynila. May mga tatlong taon na rin siyang pabalik-balik sa hotel na ito. Gusto niya ang hotel na ito dahil nasa tuktok ng bundok at ‘di gaanong pinupuntahan ng mga tao. Maganda rin ang pakikitungo ng mga staff sa kanya, lalung-lalo na ang mga kalalakihang staff dahil sa kanyang makinis na pisngi. Nagdadagdag ito sa kanyang angking ganda na pilit niyang tinatago. Nagmistulang munting kaharian niya tuloy ang hotel na ito. Ngunit sa taong ito, may nanghimasok dito.

Wala namang kamangha-mangha sa taong nanghimasok. Kagaya niya, aksidenteng natuklasan ng lalake ang tuktok ng gusali. Medyo nainis nga siya na may nakatuklas pa sa lugar na ito. Ngunit sino nga naman siya na magtataboy sa kanya? Hindi naman niya pagmamay-ari itong espasyo. Hindi niya lang alam, na ang pagtango niya sa wariy pagpaalam ng lalakeng na makibahagi sa kanyang munting kaharian ay magdudulot din ng pagbabahaginan ng kanilang buhay.

Sa mga sumunod na taon, pinasok niya ang buhay ng lalake. Isa pala siyang empleyado sa isang kompanya tatlong gusali lang ang layo sa pinagtatrabahuhan niya. Dahan-dahan din niyang nakilala siya. At dahan-dahan din niyang natanggap ang pagkatao nito, pati na ang nararamdaman niya.

Sa mga taong dumaan, hindi na siya mag-isang umaakyat sa tuktok ng gusali. Taun-taon, bumabalik sila doon sa takdang araw na una silang nagkita. Sa bawat pag-akyat nila laging nababalutan ng ulap ang tuktok ng gusali, hanggang sa hindi na nila nakikita ang tanawing nakapalibot dito. Hindi naman ang tanawin ang gusto niyang tingnan, kundi ang mga mata ng kanyang minamahal. Nagmistulang kumpisalan ang dalawang upuan. Dito nila dahan-dahang ibinabahagi ang mga bagay-bagay sa isa’t-isa.

Sa bawat taon, may nalalaman silang bago tungkol sa isa. At sa taong ito, nagaganyak siyang malaman kung ano na naman kaya ang ibabahagi ng kanyang minamahal.

Ngunit, nag-iba ang mga pangyayari. Tumawag siya sa kanya para ipaalala ang kanilang pag-akyat sa susunod na buwan. Sa tatlong taon, wala siyang naranasang ganito. Nagulat siya sa tono ng pananalita ng kanyang minamahal, na para bagang nayayamot pa. Napakabilis na dumaan ang mga sumusunod na pangyayari. Ang inaasam-asam niyang katotohanan tungkol sa minamahal ay nabatid na niya bago pa man sila tumungo ng Baguio.

Unti-unting nabalot ng makapal na ulap ang kagandahan ng tanawin na nasa likod nito. Ang kagandahang pilit na tinatakpan sa paglikom ng mga ulap. Ang kagandahang nakaligtaan niya, dahil lamang sa mapalinlang na maputing ulap.

Bumalik siya sa Baguio at sa tuktok ng gusali hindi para itayo muli ang kanyang kaharian kundi tuluyan nang isara ang mga pintuan nito. Hindi na niya maitatayo pa ang kahariang ito. Nagsimula ang lahat sa pagkalabo ng mga tanawin; natapos din ito sa pagpalibot ng mga ulap.

ni Neo Saicon, SJ
June 19, 2005

* This was my first attempt to write a lovestory in Filipino. This is almost like a synopsis of a real short story or a novel. Send me feedback guys!

My Photo Blog

2005-11-24T22:30:00.000+08:00

Hey Guys! I might not have told you that I have a Photoblog. Try to visit it at picinspirations.blogspot.com or try clicking it on the side links named, PicInspirations: A Photo Blog. Enjoy!

Renovation of Vows

2005-11-20T17:26:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow, I will renovate my vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. As my vows are perpetual, I do not renew them. I renovate them. It is more of a devotion for us who are not professed members of the Society of Jesus. This tradition of renovating our vows comes all the way from St. Ignatius' time. When he instructs those who do not have final vows, but have first perpetual vows to renovate the vows, not to renew, but to remind them of the promise they have made and so that they will draw more fruit as they live the vows. Tomorrow, as I renovate my vows, I especially beg for the intercession of Mary, mother of the Society, to continue to pray for me and my batch. There is still a long way to go, and we need all the help we could get. And I believe, that our Mother's intercession will not fail us. I honor Mary for continually preserving me in my faith and in my vows, even if I sometimes forget about it. Mary, mother of the Society, pray for us.

The Great Price

2005-11-17T21:15:00.000+08:00

Paderewski, Ignace Jan, He was a Polish pianist, who began playing the piano at age 3. He composed his first opera at age 7. He is noted for being the pianist who practiced daily. His friends admired his dedication to his chosen profession, but were also worried because he might overwork his hand. Thereby, his career would be affected.

One day, someone asked Paderewski, “Why do you practice everyday?”

Paderewski replied,

“If I skip practice for a day, I notice it.

If I skip practice for two days, my colleagues notice it.

If I skip practice for three days, everybody notices it.”

Today’s reading my sisters and brothers, makes the same point about following Jesus. We have found the great price, who is Jesus. Following him demands total, daily commitment.

Our vocation, whether we be called to the religious life or married life, demands total and daily commitment. Being a family man demands all of your time. Being with your wife or being with your kids, is a daily effort to nurture the relationship with them. For us religious, constancy in prayer, being open to the formation and diligence in our apostolate demands constant, daily effort from us to nurture the relationship with Christ. We are all called, whether we are in the state of religious life or married life, to nurture our relationship with our Lord, daily.

Yes, we may have found the pearl of great price. We have followed its light, we have left our family and friends. But there are times when we ask ourselves, where is God? I have made such a great leap of faith and yet I do not see anything new. I believe the challenge for us, is constancy and a daily commitment to hear and follow Christ.

Our Founder, St. Ignatius of Loyola, may not have said or preached about constancy in prayer life. But, truly he lived that out. He knew that following his newly found master would require total and daily commitment. He knew that a relationship like this should be nurtured, daily. That is why, for many, and if not all Jesuits, professed or novices, the twice a day examen of consciousness is very important. We try to see where God moves us, where God leads us. It then becomes our daily nurturing of the relationship; the pearl of great price that we have found.

Being the last sharer, I know you have heard much of our founder. I do not wish to overload you with too many details about him. Lest anyone here wants to join us. But to summarize: He was a man who had almost everything in his time. He had a name, known to many principalities and royalties. He had wealth, from his family’s estate. He had skills needed as a courtier of his time. Perhaps he lived a very prominent life after all. However, he left everything. The name, the fame, the fortune, and yes, the women. Everything for his pearl of great price, his newly found master.

St. Ignatius undoubtedly found the pearl of great price, sold what he had in the world and bought it. But, he did not just stop there. When he acquired it, he did not just leave it at some place and hid it. He tried to protect it, to take care of it, to nurture it, daily.

Let us ask ourselves then, how do we nurture our relationship with God, who is our pearl of great price? Whether we be lay o religious, I believe we have a common answer. Daily Prayer. No other way could we nurture such a relationship, but through prayer. Daily prayer. It may come in different forms, for us Jesuits, the daily meditation and examination of conscience, for lay, we have the formula prayers, or scriptural prayers or simple conversations with God, could be our prayer. No matter what kind of prayer we use, as long as it is daily.

Questions for reflection:

Have we been constant in nurturing on relationship with the pearl of great price?
Where do we tend to hold back in our following Jesus?

To end my sharing, let me then rephrase what Paderewski said,

“If we hold back on our daily prayer for a day, we notice it.

If we hold back for 2 days, friends notice it.

If we hold back for 3 days, all notice it. “

St. Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us.

**This is my first ever homily that I made as a novice of the Society of Jesus. I did not edit it so that you will see the difference between this and the succeeding shared homilies.

Who do you contemplate?

2005-11-10T23:31:00.000+08:00

Grace is something that is from within. It is treasured and implanted there ever since God created us in His very own image and likeness. Our consolation-graces are something that is from within. By and through prayer, it surfaces. It affects us. It moves us. By enabling it to surface, to affect, and to move us – simply by relishing and savoring those graces – we allow ourselves to become more of who we are. We allow that Christic-self to penetrate our whole being. Thus, in the long run, we experience genuine conversion – a conversion not of change but of becoming more of the One whom we contemplate, Christ.

Who do you contemplate?

Passion: Photography

2005-11-01T06:35:00.000+08:00

31 October 2005

I have always been captivated with the camera. How it captures a single piece of human drama and preserving it for the future. It captures an event that will never happen again. The lenses beckon me to take part in its undertaking. I have marveled at how photographers just click their shutters praying they took the shot well. While I, on the other hand, is inhibited by the one exposure I will waste. I have loved photography ever since, but it never seemed to be on my priority list. I get captivated by shots taken by a point-and-shoot camera, but never dared to buy my own one. Films are so expensive that I don't buy them unless it's part of a project's budget.

And so when beautiful scenes unfold before my eyes, I just wonder how they'd look like on a photo paper, on my wall, and for a second, I try to be the lense of the camera. Trying to get it exactly as I see it. Storing it in my brain and hopefully trying to recreate it. I have always wanted to just click away without thinking how much it's gonna cost nor think about how will I get a new film.

Then, digital cameras came into being. At first, I too enjoyed the convenience and instantness of the camera. How one can see immediately what one just took. The easy storing and the cheapness of it. You don't have to develop them. You can take enormous pictures. You just have to download them when you have no more spaces. But something tells me otherwise.

The thrill of the SLR's never seems to be replicated by a digital camera. You know the feeling when you just click on the scene and hope you got it right? When you have to wait till the roll is done and run to the developer, trying to see it everything is good? That even the one day wait seems to make you on your toes? This is what I feel when I take a picture. Which a digital camera will never do. I have worked with digital cameras and I like them too. But call me old fashion, I still prefer the SLR. Even if it's slow, even if it is expensive. Even if it does make you jittery. I like it.

Photography is an art and a skill. An art that artists value most since not everybody can have what the artist have. It is looking at something from a different perspective. Reflecting on it. Contemplating upon the subject. Loving it and finally, storing it on his film. A skill which real photographers engrave in themselves. A skill at looking things differently. Technique wise, there are shots the SLR's take that is not replicated by a digital camera. And it takes a great deal of skill and reflection to get that shot.

Where will this photography go? In the long term, I am looking at a calendar with my best pictures on it. But for now, I am just enjoying the thrill.

Baguio Villa

2005-10-28T06:55:00.000+08:00

27 October 2005
Baguio City

I'm writing in an internet cafe here in Baguio. We went to Camp John Hay this morning to play paintball! It was so fun. I have something to look forward to in the next province villa. It is a restful time for all of us. No fuzz about academics. But then, all of these are temporary. Work is already waiting as soon as I get back to LHS. Anyway, as long as I enjoyed it here.

Pananaw ni Juan

2005-10-12T11:50:00.000+08:00

Ngayon lang kita nakita

Ang titig ng iyong mga mata,
Buhat tayo’y nagsama.

Hindi ka naman ganyan
Likas kang palatawa.
Mapagkwento at mapagbiro.

Pero sa hapunang ito,
Parang mabigat yata
Ang iyong tinatanto.

Gusto ko sanang mahiga
Sa lupa kong kama.

Pero binabagabag ako,
Sa isang pagbabago.

Ang titig ng iyong mga mata.

Maya’t-maya,
May humahagolgol.

Para bagang batang
Sanggol.

At nakita kita.
Pulang-pula iyong
Mga mata.

Takot na takot.
Pero panatag pa rin.

Ngayon lang kita nakita,
Ang titig ng iyong mga mata.

Punong-puno ng pagmamahal.
Nag-uumapaw kagaya ng
Iyong luha.

** The disciple John looks on Jesus as he cries. Not fully understanding too, but in bothered by his look.

St. John Marie Vianney

2005-10-10T00:10:00.000+08:00

Homily for August 4, 2005
St. Jean Marie Vianney, Curé of Ars

The first time I encountered the name Jean Marie Vianney was in Cagayan de Oro. We all know that the Society has a very important work in northern Mindanao, and that is the formation of diocesan clergy.

I had a co-teacher then who was a regent of St. Jean Marie Vianney Theological Seminary, and I asked him, who is St. Jean Marie Vianney? He answered, ‘the patron of all diocesan priests.’

I would like to assume, that aside from being the patron of diocesan priests, we are quite familiar with the holiness of this man. He was a Frenchman from Lyons, France. Born on May 8, 1786. Died at Ars, France on August 4, 1859. He served as a parish priest for 41 years. Transformed the lives of the people in the town of Ars by his holy examples.

Before ordination, Jean Marie had almost the same predicament as we all are now. He had difficulties in his studies. Difficult it was, that Mathias Loras, one of the most intelligent in the seminary, was assigned to him to teach Latin. Mathias was later on named first bishop of Dubuque in the Americas. One story that Mathias remembered while in the seminary was this. While teaching Jean-Marie Latin, Mathias lost temper for this young man. Latin was most difficult to Jean-Marie that many mistakes were committed. Jean-Marie knelt infront of Mathias and asked for his forgiveness. Mathias was moved by Jean’s reaction, that he never was surprised to hear that Jean as a priest was a holy man.

The town of Ars was not a big town. Nevertheless, worldly pleasures were very rampant. One of the center of this worldliness, and the main target of Jean was the local tavern. Jean Marie sanctified himself while at work in the field or in the house. He showed the people how he lived out what he preached. The people of Ars saw this parish priest as different and slowly emulated him because they could see that his life was an example of holiness. It took ten years to convert the town of Ars. The change was drastic enough that the local taverns closed shop. This change was so noticeable that outsiders started to make pilgrimages to the town of Ars to see this holy man and hear their confessions. Many came to Ars, as his reputation to be a holy confessor spread. Sometimes he would spend 13-15 hours in the confessional. Weeping as the penitent confesses his sins. Together with this, he never loosened his mortifications, which all the more attracted the people who come to him.

What probably attracted the people of Ars and the outsiders about Jean Marie was his familiarity with his God. A familiarity that allowed him to convey to the people Gods’ plan for them. A familiarity that flows in the life of Jean Marie. Shown in his words and deeds. A familiarity that is similar to our gospel reading for today. Where we hear Peter confessing that JC is the messiah. Bible commentaries say that this is not a personal insight or an individual confession, but a view of all the disciples. We can see the familiarity, which either, peter alone or with the other disciples, have towards Jesus. For one to confess that he is the messiah, brings about that such faith in that person. For one does not utter what he does not totally believe in. Whether Peter’s confession is taken as a collective response, does not rule out the fact, that even before this confession is said, the disciples have in fact known him well.

You are the messiah! There is so much faith , so much knowledge, so much familiarity that we hear in this statement. Moreover, in the life of Jean Marie we hear this statement in the kind of life he led. His closeness with his God was his primary method of teaching. Living a life full of faith and familiarity with his God. You are the messiah; one cannot say this without knowing the person well.

If we go back to our SpEx, the grace begged for the whole of 2^nd week, was nothing but familiarity with our God. From birth to crucifixion, we are asked to know the heart and mind of our Lord. I remember being instructed to stay with my Lord in the hope that I emulate our Lord’s ways and act as he ought to. A familiarity that we are all invited to. I now invite you brothers, to ask ourselves, how familiar am I with my God? Do I know his heart and mind? Does my action speak of my relationship with my God?

As we celebrate today St. Jean Marie Vianney, we beg the Lord to give us the grace of the 2^nd week. The grace which is obvious in the life of Jean Marie. That we too may follow Christ more closely, follow him more nearly and love him more dearly. St. Jean Marie Vianney, pray for us.

IBM thinkpad

2005-10-03T09:30:00.000+08:00

Sunday, 02 October 2005
Berchman's study room

Last week, Fr Schneider gave me this IBM thinkpad owned by the late Fr. Benny. I had such high regard for IBM products that I immediately said I am interested on it. I got it from his office and started to fish for the AC adapter of it. I couldn't find one until I asked br. Gabe. It was the correct adapter, 16V,2.2A, perfect. I got it started then saw, lo and behold! A Windows 3.1! The very first OS I ever learned. I was then brought back to room 231, R. N. Pelaez complex of Liceo de Cagayan. It was there that I learned to enter my first username (user12) and password (junix). And the familiar Windows 3.1 boot-up screen displays itself to her bedazzled spectator. It's funny how things like this bring alive once more the yesteryears. Imagine I have journeyed that far already. Kids now, wouldn't know the joy of seeing the evolution of the very first Windows to the current whatever versions you got there. Perhaps, Bill Gates and companions' vision before, was to make things easier for those who are still using the green monitored computers, to make things a little entertaining. That was before they thought of evil things like creating versions of Windows with embedded bugs just to make us buy the newest versions or supports. Gone are those days of pure joy and pride of using Windows 3.1. Everybody now seems to compete to the newest, fadest and fastest laptop.

I still haven't found a use for this laptop. There are still sensitive files that which I have to consult with my superior. But then again, whether I get to use it or not, the experience of finding it and resurrecting it from the dead made me reminisce my past which I am proud of.

An Afternoon Thought

2005-09-25T13:15:00.000+08:00

24 Sep 2005
315pm
Figaro Coffee Shop
Gateway Mall

I was reading The Chronicles of a Death Foretold by Gabriel Garcia Marquez in this coffee shop. I was waiting for my other brothers who were watching Ganito Kami Noon, Paano Kayo Ngayon. Then a friend of mine, who works in the mall, came. He said something about his life as winding down. Nothing seems to be of value anymore. Even money lost it's value for him. He is looking for something. He says, parties have lost their meanings. He just gets drunk so as to deaden the void. Then suddenly, something pops up in his mind. 'The more I fill it up, the more it gets empty and empty.'

I replied, 'there will always be a part of us that is going to be void, lacking. The difficulty with us, is that the more we feel void, the more we want to fill it up, but with the wrong things. The wrong solutions. Filling it up with material things, with gadgets, with relationships that are not worthwhile. And the more we try to fill it up, the more we get lost to the hundred possible solutions we could think of. And the more we do that, the more we get frustrated because we will never know what we are looking for, until we settle down ourselves. We learn to slowdown.

Until we learn to listen with our heart. It is in the most deepest seat of our heart, where our solutions will be. Where our longed for piece, that keeps avoiding us, is found. Listen well, listen carefully. Stop from controlling yourself. Stop in making things up so that you will feel important. Stop living a life you designed. Because it is NOT your life. It may sound so radical. That we do not hold our life. But come to think about it. Think deeply. Where will all this end? I don't suppose, we just die for no reason. We flop on the ground, just like that. There is much greater things in life. Even if sometimes, it is in the afterlife.'

I was thinking about it this evening. The ideas may not be original. But how I put them up together comes from an unprocessed mind. I just like to put them down and perhaps reflect more about it. I suppose I have used this line of thought in my own experience, in my life. They ring a truh in me. A sense that this why I am choosing and continually choosing this life. I might, perhaps, found the missing piece of my puzzle, but still is finding the right position to hold it down. Just because I think I have found my puzzle, I will be okay and settled already. I still need to hold, learn it, listen to it. Perhaps 5o percent of the work is done, and a long 50 percent more to go to.

Nakikiuso

2005-09-24T08:20:00.000+08:00

23 Sep 2005
515pm

First Blog Entry

Am just trying to ride on with the trend of the scholastics. Am not even sure what i should write here. Some thoughts perhaps, reflections, or ideas that might be of significance or no significance at all with the world. Some of my reflection papers, poetry or literary works. Not to publish myself, but I've learned that posting some things over the net makes it available to be accessed anywhere. I don't have to bring a memory stick just to share some of the works I've done. Anyway, I'm starting to think out loud again.